


The Brothers

by requests-are-very-welcome (cinsity)



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, Hannibal (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Crack, Dark Harry Potter, Dark Will Graham, Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Gen, Harry Potter is a Horcrux, M/M, Multi, Other, Work In Progress, draft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:00:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26933269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinsity/pseuds/requests-are-very-welcome
Summary: Morticia Addams' brothers are just an enchanting as she is. Somehow, so are their adversaries. The Addams family adores Uncle Will's fiancé, a cannibalistic serial killer known as the Chesapeake Ripper. Likewise, they admire Uncle Harry's whatever Tom Riddle, know as Dark Lord Voldemort. Lastly, they fawn over Jim's brilliant lover-slash-enemy. It's chaos, and the younger boys are a lot more open toward the "dark" than one would think.
Relationships: Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams, Harry Potter & Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Sherlock Holmes/James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 17
Kudos: 148





	1. Cousin Snape

"You and Severus are related?" Tom's eyebrows were drawn up in surprise, but his eyes shown with strictly mirth.  
Harry was less than thrilled at Tom's realisation. It's not like he himself was glad Severus was his distant not-related relative.  
"Unfortunately."  
"Gods, you even sound like him."  
Tom's smirk never wavered as Harry smacked him. "Ow," Tom teasingly retorted.  
Harry simply glared back.   
"We're not even related, not really. Not only am I not really related to Ticsh, but Snape is from Gomez's side."  
Tom offered a hum in reply, watching Luna and Wednesday chase one another around Hogwarts' residential dungeon bat.


	2. The More Than Frenemies

Once they were all gathered in one of the living rooms, Gomez enthusiastically demanded introductions. Morticia placated her husband while her brothers and their archenemies situated themselves. Seeing their reluctance, Morticia announced that they would go in age order. Eldest first.  
Moriarty and Will exchanged a look, not entirely sure who was older. Impatient, Gomez told Moriarty to start.  
With a dramatic sigh and a flourish in Sherlock's direction, Moriarty spoke. "Tisch, Gomez, brothers, meet my amazing Sherly!"  
"Sherlock," said man corrected.  
Moriarty waved him away. "Genius consulting detective, whose mind rivals only the one belonging to yours truly!" Sherlock half-glared at Moriarty's jab.  
"Yes, but who is he?" Gomez prompted.  
"Why, my sociopathic rival-slash-lover of course!"  
Will rolled his eyes at his brother's dramatics. He shared an exasperated look with Harry, who half-grimaced, half-smirked at him. Always expressing things so, their brother did. Much unlike themselves and their sister.  
"Of course," Sherlock snorted.  
"A sociopath, eh? Good choice, Jimmy!" Gomez exclaimed.  
Morticia smiled kindly at Sherlock. "Well you must be quite interesting to catch the attention of our dear James."  
"Have you a filthy past, my friend?" Gomez questioned, leaning forward eagerly. Morticia pulled him back and informed him that that was a subject for later. Dinner, perhaps. Gomez reluctantly dropped it. Until dinner.  
"Onto you, Will darling." Morticia announced, smirking at her brother's predatory cannibal.   
"Alright. Meet Doctor Hannibal Lecter, killer and cook extraordinaire. Also know as the Chesapeake Ripper. My fiancé." Will tiredly smiled at Hannibal, who was gently rubbing his available hand.   
"Oh! The cannibal? That Ripper?" Gomez excitedly asked, leaning forward again.  
Hannibal smirked. "Why, of course."  
Only Will could sense Hannibal's surprise. Sherlock probably could have, if he had been paying any attention, and possibly Moriarty as well. Hannibal had of course been informed by his fiancé of Will's rather eccentric family, but he was still surprised of their enthusiastic acceptance regarding his favourite hobbies.  
"Dreadful," Morticia cheerfully responded.  
"Just terrible," Gomez cheered, raising his glass up as for a toast.  
Will just shook his head at his brother-in-law's antics, deciding to throw the youngest brother under the rug. Figuratively, of course.   
"I believe it's Harry's turn now?" William announced, hiding his smirk in his glass.   
Harry shot him a look. "I guess," Harry replied. "Thanks, brother dearest."  
Will shot Harry a wink, ignoring Hannibal's incredulous look at him being openly playful.  
"Everyone," Harry started, somehow more awkward than Will, "meet Tom. Also known as the Dark Lord Voldemort." A pause. "Who killed my parents."  
"Whom, dear," Tom corrected, his head on Harry's. Harry leaned back against his soulmate, rolling his eyes.  
"Whom killed my parents," Harry restated.  
"How horrible!" Gomez replied, grinning like the mad man he was.  
"An atrocity," Morticia dreamily responded.  
Will hummed, "Oh, just wait. The full story is just," Will mimed an explosion, accidentally swatting Hannibal in the process.  
Seeing Gomez lean forward again, Morticia speaks. "Well, just another story we must hear over dinner.  
Hopefully we have time for all three."  
Will winced. "Three?"  
"Oh yes," Morticia replied, "did you really think you could get out of it, brother dearest?"  
Will grimaced at his sister's smirk, but shook his head to agree with her statement.  
"Do any of us like girls?" Harry murmured in realisation, somewhat amused.  
"I'm bi," Will piped up, responding to his brother's not so quiet question.  
"I believe Wednesday likes girls," Morticia said. "Gomez too, of course. Personally, I suppose I am also bi."  
"Same here!" Gomez announced.  
"Are we counting the whole family?" Moriarty questioned, finally re-joining the conversation.   
Harry shrugged in response, not really caring. His statement had just been a blurted musing, after all. "Luna doesn't have a preference, though I think she rather fancies Snape right now."  
"Oh?" Tom raised an eyebrow at his soulmate, before turning to face Morticia.  
"Speaking of Severus, you should meet the rest of his family. I am certain you and Narcissa would get along swimmingly."  
Morticia nodded, smiling. "I have heard quite a bit about the Malfoys, and would be pleased to meet them."  
"Make sure to keep Wednesday and Pugsley away from their son, though. Draco's a bit... fragile," Harry interjected, his partner nodding in agreement.


	3. Barry and Ken

Tom Riddle was not happy when he arrived home. After spending all day on paperwork and deals with dunderheads, the Dark Lord was looking forward to relaxing. However, this was clearly not to be. Upon reaching his house, Tom realised that there was an unfamiliar car parked in their driveway. This would not have been so unusual if the two residents of the house in question drove. But, seeing as neither Tom or Harry did, it was certainly an out-of-place vehicle. Tom knew that Harry had no interest in Muggle transportation, so he had full faith in his ravenette that Harry did not sporadically buy a car. Grumbling, Tom entered his house, only to hear a recently deemed familiar voice conversing with his Harry. A recently deemed familiar voice who must have bought another new car.

"Are we doing everything right, legally?" The newly familiar voice.

"I'm a wizard." Harry.

"Right. Well, here's to a great team," the voice, followed by a _clink_.

"To a great team!" Harry.

Tom grimaced and announced his presence. "Well, hello."

"Tom!" Harry exclaimed, whirling around with a smile.

"Hello," their guest replied.

Internally, Tom recoiled at the idea of having a _guest_ in his private home.

"I didn't think you were coming," Harry continued.

"No, I was just late," Tom said, "I tried to leave, but... Lucius."

Tom's beloved ravenette nodded in understanding. "I didn't want all of this to go to waste, so I invited Will over. Luckily, he was free!" Harry explained, heading toward the kitchen.

Tom grinned, all teeth. "How lucky indeed."

"There's a little left," Harry called. "I could heat it up."

"Sounds great," Tom replied, situating himself in Harry's abandoned seat.

"So I hear you're quite the wizard. I'm not much myself. More of a Squib, I suppose."

Tom wasn't really listening, though he was glaring harshly at Will. "That's where I usually sit. Right... there."

Before Will could respond, Harry piped up, "Tom, Will was looking over your paperwork, and he agreed with me that it's not a great idea to automatically kill Muggles that discover us. A simple _Obliviate_ will do."

"You think I don't see what you're doing?" Tom hissed across the table.

"I know how hard it is to settle for not murdering annoying, nosy people. We have that in common," Will replied, dismissing Tom's question.

Tom's eyes flashed in annoyance, "Do we?"

Will hummed, "Well us non-wizards tend to struggle less with such matter, but the urge is still there. To kill idiots, that is."

"That's just what I was thinking about doing," Tom retorted, eyes glinting.

"Tom," Harry called over the microwave's _beep_ , "I already told Will he could borrow your green tie for his meeting tomorrow. I hope that's all right."

Tom's shoulders visibly tightened as Will got up to use the loo.

"Look at that," Will mused, stopping to admire a painting of Harry in the hall.

Tom stood up, approaching Will. "You know, I've just about had it with your little games," Tom threatened, blocking Will's view of the painting.

Will blinked, "What's that?" he asked, looking down at Tom's now-drawn wand.

"Just a little piece of magic," Tom answered, twirling his wand through his fingers.

"Yikes," Will grimaced, catching onto Tom's hateful connotation.

"Makes an excellent weapon," Tom mused, shrugging.

Will's eyes widened. "Hey, remember what I said? We all struggle with those urges," Will nervously chuckled.

Tom's caught Will's eyes as he pushed his wand into the shorter man's stomach. " _Av_ -"

"Thomas! What are you doing?" Harry screeched, glowering as he stepped up beside Tom. "We need to talk," Harry hissed, eyes flashing a more vivid green than usual. "Will is very nice to me, and that's saying something, because the last people to have been nice to me backstabbed me! Especially considering he is a Muggle, yet he has still been incredibly nice!" Harry snarled.

"Especially considering... _what are you talking about? Do you have other Muggles in your life?"_ Tom questioned, slipping into Parseltongue.

Harry glared. _"No, but there are certain people always mentioning Muggles in my life. And you're one of them!"_

Tom threw his hands out in exasperation. _"Fine,"_ he hissed, _"talk to Muggles."_

Harry simply turned to Will, ignoring Tom's incoherent muttering. 

"I have been feeling some kind of barrier between Tom and I since I've been visiting," Will hummed. "I couldn't overcome it. Well, yet, that is. Anyway..." Will trailed off, also ignoring the irate brunette behind Harry.

"Are you okay for your meeting?" Harry asked, worry clear in his eyes.

Will smirked in response. "I believe Mister Montgomery is about out of time

* * *

After Will had left, and he did make a quick exit after the house residents' spat, Harry cornered Tom. 

_"You,"_ Harry glowered, _"are sleeping on the couch."_

Ignoring Tom's spluttering a hissing Harry stalked out of the room. _"I can't believe you threatened to kill my brother!"_

Tom's head whipped toward Harry, his eyes wide. "Brother?"


	4. Malice Aforethought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal and Voldemort are very good at killing people. Too bad they aren’t just ‘people’ themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt/idea credit goes to GabxLuci2796! x (: Feel free to offer suggestions.

“Love?” Voldemort called, looking at his tea in confusion.

Harry hummed in response, peeking in from the doorway.

“Did you poison my tea?” Tom asked, raising an eyebrow at his partner.

Harry blinked. “I thought we were past this? Is this because of last week? Because you can’t-”

Tom interrupted, “We are. We were, at least, before _someone_ put poison in my tea.”

Voldemort received a glare in response, causing him to pale. Hell hath no fury like a Harry scorned.

“Thomas Marvolo Riddle,” Harry growled, “I do not know who poisoned you, but it wasn’t me. And until you believe me, you can sleep on the couch.”

With that, Harry turned and fled the room, leaving Tom with his poisoned tea. Voldemort gulped before glowering at the tea. “This is all your fault.”

Later that evening, Tom reclined on the sofa, when suddenly he had an epiphany. It must have been that blasted muggle from last week. Harry’s ‘brother’, Walt or something. Upon having this realisation, Tom formed a plan. But first, he must get back into his partner’s good graces.

Four days later, Tom had finally earned Harry’s forgiveness. Unbeknownst to his partner, Voldemort had an ulterior motive. Once he regained Harry’s trust, Voldemort was able to snag his partner’s horrible muggle phone. After a short struggle with the device, Tom found what he was looking for: the address of Harry’s brother. The contact picture helped, as the man was apparently called ‘Will’, not ‘Walt’, and he wasn’t labelled as a Potter. Smirking, Tom placed Harry’s phone where it had been, after closing his partner’s ‘apps’.

—

“Will, dearest,” Hannibal called from the kitchen, studying an altered collection of wine.

His husband was currently renovating Hannibal’s backyard, for his pack. Thankfully he hadn’t gotten back outside yet when Hannibal summoned him. The psychiatrist didn’t wish to make a trek outside to the muddy, tool-and-wood-filled backyard.

“Coming!” Will yelled back to Hannibal. A short series of bangs followed the man’s voice before he appeared in the kitchen. Hannibal sighed, hoping his love didn’t dent the expensive flooring with whatever he knocked over this time.

Upon entering the kitchen, Will was bewildered by the scene that awaited him. Hannibal was standing at the counter, multiple bottles of wine in front of him.

“If you called me in here to help you choose a wine,” Will started, only to have Hannibal finish his sentence. “You won’t be much help. Yes, I know.”

Hannibal frowned at the wine. “They are contaminated.”

Will furrowed his brow, closing the distance between the two. “All of them? Are you sure?”

Hannibal nodded an affirmative. “This is not a substance I recognise,” the man reluctantly admitted.

Suddenly, Will’s eyes widened in realisation. Hannibal looked at him sharply, hoping he had an explanation.

“My brother-in-law might be to blame,” Will admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Hannibal raised an eyebrow, urging Will to continue.

“My pseudo-brother’s husband and I didn’t exactly meet on the best of terms. Or part on the best of terms. As you know. And, since he’s a wizard, like Harry, so he could get past the security system.”

Hannibal closed his eyes, inwardly rolling them.

“Ah, yes. That... may be my fault,” Hannibal admitted, grimacing as he remembered the events of five nights ago.

Will shot his head up, sending Hannibal an extremely suspicious look.

“He hurt you, dearest. I couldn’t just allow it,” Hannibal confessed.

Will made a vague growling noise, exasperated. “What’d you do?” Will asked, putting his hand to his head.

After reluctantly explaining, Hannibal was told that the loss of his wine was his own fault. The serial killer thought that was punishment enough, but apparently not, as Will ignored him for ‘being an idiot’ until Tuesday.

—

On the fourth week of ‘Poison the In-laws’, the brothers were fed up with their respective significant others.

“Tom,” Harry began,

“Hannibal,” Will began,

“I will ignore you for a week if you don’t leave-” they continued, unknowingly together,

“Hannibal,” Harry,

“Tom,” Will,

“Alone,” they finished.

Reluctantly, the in-laws stopped trying to kill one another. Well, they stopped doing so as frequently. Every once in awhile a murderer would be ignored or sent to the doghouse for trying to _Avada Kedavra_ or stab another.


End file.
